Date: Thu, 9 Feb 95 15:35:49 PST
From: Joe Linoff <joel@zycad.com>
To: silent-tristero@world.std.com
Subject: Please excuse Jimmy for being.  It was his father's fault.

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling):

     My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E.  today.
     Please execute him.

     Please excuse Lisa for being absent.  She was sick and I had her
     shot.

     Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.  28, 29, 30,
     31,32, and also 33.

     Please excuse Gloria from Jim today.  She is administrating.

     Please excuse Roland from P.E.  for a few days.  Yesterday he fell
     out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

     John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
     face.

     Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.  He
     was hurt in the growing part.

     Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered
     by very close veins.

     Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

     Please excuse Ray Friday from school.  He has very loose vowels.

     Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday.  He had diarrhea
     and his boots leak.

     Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

     Please excuse Jimmy for being.  It was his father's fault.

     Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.  We forgot to
     get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we
     thought it was Sunday.

     Sally won't be in school a week from Friday.  We have to attend her
     funeral.

     My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.  She spent
     a weekend with the Marines.

     Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.  He had a cold and
     could not breed well.

     Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday.  She was in bed with
     gramps.

     Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

     Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

     Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore
     throat, headache and upset stomach.  Her sister was also sick,
     fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached
     all over.  I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.  There
     must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.